Torn Up Inside

I've resurrected to my previous self.....

back to the time when I smile for every negative emotion I have,

but this time is a lil different,

every second that passes by

I can feel a lil part of me is being torn apart.

When I finally start to feel more emotions and do what my heart wants to,

I was scold for being sad and depress,

and was also ask to be resurrected back to my hollow self.

As I know,

emotions are not just happiness, anger and love....

we also have sadness and depression,

now I'm just wearing a mask with a smile,

with this mask,

all I can only feel anger, sadness and depression.

But most of the time,
motionless....
I don't understand the reason you teach us to be real?

If you wanted me to push my emotions aside,

when finally I found the missing parts of heart,

the pieces of happiness, love and joy.....

Emotions helps to create other emotions,

such as happiness will cause sadness,

and the sadness will take time to heal back to happiness,

but you didn't give me the time and just want me to be happy 24hr.

This time I'm not only emotions,

I'm losing me indentity.....

I'm becoming someone who want to pick a fight with anyone.

I'm feeling so torn up!!!

You never knew who I use to be,

So now you will slowly start to see,

The demon sleeping deep inside of me,

Turning me back to who I used to be.